One Time At The Magic Box
by Brin Londo5
Summary: Willow’s cousin comes to visit. American Pie 1 & 2 crossover. FINISHED!
1. Default Chapter

**Title:** One Time At The Magic Box 

**Author:** Brin Londo5

**Email:** PG-13 or mild R, due to language

**Summary:** Willow's cousin comes to visit. American Pie 1 & 2 crossover. Disclaimer: All Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series characters belong to Joss Wheadon, all hail the Joss-meister. No cash is being made, so there. Archive: Whoever wants it, just please ask first.

**Author's Notes:** AU Season 7. Tara survived, the First Evil Didn't.

The large Winnebago slowly cruised through the streets of Sunnydale, furtive eyes peering back and forth at the unfamiliar streets. The driver turned to the person in the front passenger seat, and shrugged in vague confusion.

"Well, **_YOU'RE_** the only one who's ever been here before. Go see where we are, and where we're going."

Shoulders slumped in defeat, and slowly the person turned and opened the Winnebago door.

Anya looked up as a petite redhead wandered into the Magic Box. _What's up with Willow?_ she wondered. "You know, if _Xander_ were getting out of the hospital today, I'd want to be over there, picking him up. What's you're excuse?" She asked with her usual bluntness. "Or is Buffy late again? You can check in the back, if you want. Her and Giles should be there, if they missed picking you up. How is Tara, other than sore, I mean?"

The redhead looked even more confused.. "_Tara?_ And.why-why would Xander be in the hospital?"

"Oh, Willow, honey, you haven't been playing with Tabula Rasa spells _again_?" Anya blurted out. "_Xander_ isn't in the hospital, _Tara_ is! You, Buffy, and Giles are supposed to go pick her up today!"

"Huh? _Who_ is Tara, and-and why is she in the hospital? And why do you keep calling me Willow?"

_Oh dear,_ Anya thought, _It's worse than when she made me think Giles and I were engaged! _"Willow, it's okay, we'll get Giles over here and everything will be alright." Just as soon as she said that, the door opened with the ringing of the bell, and an older man dressed in tweed, and two blondes walked into the store. One was petite and rather stylishly dressed, the other was taller, with one arm in a sling, and dressed in a neo-medieval peasant dress.

"Jeez, Wills, late much? I thought you and Xander were meeting us to pick Tara up?" The shorter of the two blondes asked, a slightly put out look upon her face.

"_**WHO**_ is _Tara_? And why do you people keep calling me Willow? Willow is-"

"Apparently been playing with dark magics again. This time she only wiped her own memory, thank Grendel." Anya threw in.

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?" She screamed.

"Oh, Willow, honey, it's okay! I understand, and I'll still love you, even after we restore your memory!" The taller blond said, running forward and wrapping her into a rather intimate hug.

"**_WHOA!!!_** HOLD ON! Hands OFF my BUTT, lady!" The redhead shoved the blond away, with an almost furious look on her face. Tara's face started to crumble in hurt, and Buffy looked absolutely shocked.

Just then, the doorbell rang, as Willow and Xander walked into the store. Buffy and Anya's jaws dropped open, as did Giles', Tara's, and Xander's. Then, Willow and her mirror image's faces lit up in recognition

"Willow!" the redhead who faced Tara yelled, joy filling her face.

"Michelle!!!!!" Willow all but screamed, and the two redheads ran towards each other and wrapped each other in tight hugs, both bouncing up and down like human pogo sticks.

"Oh, it's Michelle." Xander said, and shrugged at the others. They looked at him with vague looks of confused consternation. Then, a look of realization seemed to almost visibly hit Xander, and his eyes widened. "It's _**Michelle!**_ Guys, this is Willow's cousin, Michelle! _Michelle Flaherty!_ Her mom and Willow's are sisters! Twins! They're darn near twins themselves!" Comprehension dawned on the others' faces, too, then. Well, all except Anya, who just looked confused.

"And, well, Jim and the gang and I, we decided that summers almost over, and Band Camp's over with too, and so, well, we kinda decided to get an RV and, well, um, go on a kinda road-trip, you know?" Michelle babbled.

"Whoa, _Jim,_ the guy who you took to prom, Jim?" Willow counter-babbled, "The one who I saw on the internet, with that Russian chick? The one who crashed Band Camp to talk to you?"

"He's my _fiancée_! We started dating after our freshman year of college!" Michelle giggled. "His folks are even bigger geeks than you and me put together!"

Buffy snickered. "Those two _BOTH_ babble in Willow-speak."

"Too true, mi amigo, Buffster. Although, I haven't seen Michelle since third grade, when her mom last took her here to Sunnydale for vacation." Xander said. "God, it's like that time I got split in two, ain't it?" He muttered, a grin on his face.

"Not really, Xander," Anya replied. "I've never wanted to have a ménage a trios with two of Willow. Dueling Xander's, **yes**, _redheaded lesbians, no_."

"Huh? What? Lesbians? No, I mean, okay, so I MAYBE had a few bi-curious fantasies here or there, but Jim's my guy, don't need a girl!" Michelle giggled nervously. "So, um, aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"

"Um, okay, you already know Xander, here."

"Gee, Harris, you grew up nice." Michelle giggled.

"This is _Mr. Giles_, he used to be our High School Librarian, now he's the co-owner of the Magic Box, with _Anya_, here." Giles offered a polite 'hello', and Anya waved.

"This is _Buffy_, one of my best friends besides Xander."

"And this," She said, coming up behind the taller blond and resting her chin on the other girl's shoulder, "is _Tara Maclay_, my _**girlfriend**_."

"WHOA!" Michelle all but yelped, "Your GIRLfriend, as in _girlfriend-_ girlfriend? As in _swearing off guys_, girlfriend? I thought you were dating that guy Oz, _well, not OUR Oz, Chris Ostrieger_, but that guitarist guy you wrote me about back in high school?" Michelle quickly backpedaled. As in, speed-of-light backpedaling. "N-not that there's anything _wrong_ with that, Willow, but this is kinda sudden, y'know? And what about Xander?"

"She can't have Xander! Xander's mine!" Anya proclaimed. "Er, I mean, he WAS mine (_until the little creep stood me up at the altar!_) But, you still can't have him!"

"Well, maybe I don't want him, miss shopkeeper Anya! I have my own little Jimbo! Well, actually, 'little Jimbo' isn't all that little." She said with a naughty grin. "OH! _**JIM!**_ _Jim and the others are still in the Winnebago!_ No-one was at your folk's home, Willow, so we decided to ask for directions!"

TBC.


	2. chapter 2

Title: One Time At The Magic Box, chapter 2  
  
Author: Brin Londo5  
  
Email: ogreblood@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG-13 or mild R, due to language  
  
Summary: Willow's cousin comes to visit. American Pie 1 & 2 crossover. Disclaimer: All Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series characters belong to Joss Wheadon, all hail the Joss-meister. Whoever owns American Pie and its characters, sure isn't me. No cash is being made, so there. Archive: Whoever wants it, just please ask first.  
  
Author's Notes: AU Season 7. Tara survived, the First Evil Didn't.  
  
"So, you two really ARE lesbians???" Stifler asked. "COOL!"  
  
Tara sighed and rolled her eyes, and Chris rolled his eyes and smacked Stifler upside the head with the magazine he'd been reading. Willow giggled at his outraged 'HEY!'  
  
"Jeez, Xander, he's worse than you!" she remarked.  
  
"You know, this is still going to get some getting used to, er, Xander, was it?" Jim asked. Buffy, busy sipping a Diet Coke, raised one hand in agreement. Dawn marveled at the two redheads and giggled.  
  
"Yeah, You guys got a straight version of Wills that's a 'Band-Camp' geek, and we got one who's a hacker-turned Wicca practitioner."  
  
"Well, I was going to say that you guys got a gay version of Michelle. NOT that there's a thing wrong with that, it's just, um is it possible to sink myself any deeper in this conversation?" Jim replied.  
  
"Aw, it's okay, honey, it's a shock to me too, but hey, it's Wills and she's my cousin and I love her no matter what, right? It's just a bit of a surprise." She got a mischievous look on her face. "Sort of, um, tests your boundaries, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, aren't instruments fun?" Willow chimed in, a twinkle in her green eyes.  
  
"Ohhh, you didn't." Jim looked at Michelle, who giggled. "You told her? Argh! I'm SO embarrassed!"  
  
"That's okay Jim, you should hear some of the things we've told each other about, over the internet. All sorts of things." Willow giggled, sipping at her glass of white wine.  
  
"Oh, noooo" Jim groaned, putting one hand over his eyes.  
  
Willow giggled, obviously a little tipsy. "Well, Jimbo, it can't be anything more embarrassing than some of the stuff Tara and I have done."  
  
"Yeah, like what?" Stifler leaned forward, eyes glinting in a pervy weasel- like manner.  
  
"Well, one time, at the Magic Box, I stuck a wand up my pussy." Buffy, Xander, Tara, and Giles all simultaneously did a perfect Danny Kay spit- take.  
  
"WILLOW!" Buffy and Dawn both shouted in shock.  
  
"Whoa, Wills, TMI, TMI!!!!" Xander yelled.  
  
"Hush up, Xander, I want to hear this!" Anya proclaimed, leaning forward in fascination.  
  
* Figures that Anya would be all for anything sexual. * Buffy thought.  
  
"Bloody hell, and I figured my little announcement would be the biggest thing to freak out the Scoobies. Good job, Red." Spike said from the doorway.  
  
"Spike!" Dawn yelled, before remembering she was supposed to be furious with the vampire. Although Xander hadn't told Dawn yet about what happened upstairs, he had left without a word, and she still smarted from that.  
  
"Who's the Billy Idol reject?" Stifler asked.  
  
Within a tenth of a heartbeat, Steve Stifler found himself pinned up against the wall, held there by a single hand. For another heartbeat, no one moved. Then, Buffy had Spike up against the wall himself, a sharp length of wood against his chest.  
  
"Easy, Pet. Really sure you want to start our favorite dance number in front of your new pals? And why's there two of Red?"  
  
"WHAT do you want, Spike?" Buffy ground out.  
  
"Probably to tell you about that nice shiny new soul he's sporting." Anya blurted out.  
  
"Omigoddess!" Tara whispered. "Buffy, I can see his aura, she's right! He has a soul, now!"  
  
The stake tumbled from suddenly nerveless fingers. A soul?  
  
"Oh, and if Captain Cardboard ever shows his face again, tell him here's his stinking chip back, I won't be needing it any more." He said, slipping the tiny wafer of micro-circuitry into Buffy's hand.  
  
"Um, really confused here?" Stifler said, sitting at the base of the wall, cringing.  
  
"I see the Scoobies here haven't told you WHY they don't want you going outside at night in good old Sunnyhell, yet, eh?"  
  
"Yeah, they did, some sort of gang violence, right?" Jim asked.  
  
"Not hardly, mate. Sunnydale sits right on top of a supernatural phenomenon known as a Hellmouth. All sorts of nasty things that go bump in the night naturally gravitate to it. Demons, ghosts, Vampires, werewolves, you just name it, chances are it'll show up here."  
  
"You're joking, right?" Chris asked, suddenly VERY nervous about this whack-job who waltzed in and tried to pull a Terminator on Stifler.  
  
"Not in the least, mate. Vampires are the most common threat in this town," He said, then went 'game-face', and looked Chris right in the eye. "And you'd better bloody well bet that they're real."  
  
"Holy SHIT, it's that guy from the Lost Boys!!!" Stifler shrieked, then dove behind Jim and Michelle.  
  
Willow just slapped his leg and told him to sit down and stop scaring the houseguests. Spike, still all 'grrr', flopped down, grabbed a handful of popcorn and began munching on it. Willow leaned into Tara, and told everyone to relax, 'Spike may be a vampire, but he's OUR vampire, he's on our side.'  
  
"Okay, let me get this straight, Vampires are REAL?" Jim asked.  
  
"Yup, that we are." Spike replied. "I'm Spike, since no-one besides Red Number One here seems polite enough to give out introductions." Jim, Michelle, and the others followed suit.  
  
"Spike, just what the hell is it you want?" Buffy sighed.  
  
"Wanted to ask for your forgiveness, pet. At least, for what I did a month ago."  
  
"Spike." Buffy drew in a deep breath before she let it out again. "Lets just forget about it. I'm too tired to deal with that right now, and I don't want our dirty laundry aired out in front of people we've just met."  
  
"WHAT?!?" Xander yelled, "HE-"  
  
"Didn't do anything YOU didn't also try to do our junior year of High School, Mr. I'm-lying-through-my-teeth-about-not-remembering-what-I-did-or- tried-to-do-when-I-was-posessed-by-a-hyena-spirit." Buffy glared at Xander, daring him to say anything more. Xander took the hint and shut up.  
  
"All right, then, what's this about two Willows, hanging around here? One of whom appears to be straight and calling herself Michelle."  
  
"Michelle's my cousin. We just look like twins."  
  
"All right, but what was that about the Magic Box, and your box, Red?" He asked with a leer in his eyes.  
  
"We were just trading humorous stories about, well, experimentation." Willow said, leaning into Tara again. "Experimentation can be good."  
  
"Ever do it with two girls?" Stifler asked, sliding back into his usual state of horniness.  
  
"I wanted to try it with two Xanders once, but Giles made us put him back together first." Anya said with a pout.  
  
"I had my first date with my ex-girlfriend accidentally being broadcast on the internet." Jim offered.  
  
"One time Willow and I ended up levitating while making love." Tara chimed in.  
  
"What, you mean you really ARE witches?" Michelle asked. "Not just a religious thing?"  
  
"Yes, we really are." Tara smiled as she replied.  
  
"One time I made love to someone in a graveyard, while invisible." Buffy said with a malicious grin, laughing as Xander's eyes widened and he spit more of his soda out onto the floor, realizing what was really going on when he walked into Spike's crypt that one time. She leaned against Spike, just to get more of a rise out of the construction-worker.  
  
"How about that one time, pet, when I made love to me fiancée in a certain bathroom owned by a chap named 'Ripper'." Spike said, grinning as Giles almost choked on his single-malt scotch.  
  
Laughter echoed in the night, as the Scoobies and the Great Falls gang shared reminisces into the night, trying to outdo one another in wild escapades. A passing ghoul looked up, startled as Dawn's voice shrieked out "A PIE???" amidst laughter. 


	3. chapter3

Title: One Time At The Magic Box, chapter 3  
  
Author: Brin Londo5  
  
Email: ogreblood@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG-13 or mild R, due to language  
  
Summary: Willow's cousin comes to visit. American Pie 1 & 2 crossover. Disclaimer: All Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series characters belong to Joss Wheadon, all hail the Joss-meister. Whoever owns American Pie and its characters, sure isn't me. No cash is being made, so there. Archive: Whoever wants it, just please ask first.  
  
Author's Notes: AU Season 7. Tara survived, the First Evil Didn't. And remember, the Oz here is Chris Ostrieger from American Pie, not Daniel Osbourne from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  
  
"So, let me get this straight, " Chris said, tossing the football to Xander, as they goofed off in the back yard, "This Spike guy, you guys trust him?"  
  
"Well, Oz, (god, it's so weird to be calling someone ELSE Oz), if you EVER repeat what I'm about to say, I will deny it to my dying breath, you understand? If you'd asked me this a few years ago, I'd have freaked about the idea of Deadboy Jr. in there EVER being a friend to any of us. After all, when Spike first came to Sunnydale, he was here to kill Buffy."  
  
"WHAT?!?" Chris/Oz gasped, and missed the ball completely. Stifler laughed and sat back into the hammock.  
  
"Yeah, he'd been hired to kill Buff, because she's the Slayer, you know? Natural predator to the undead and all that. Spike was kinda famous, because he had already gotten two OTHER Slayers, that was where he got that nifty coat of his." Xander shrugged, then walked over to the cooler and grabbed a cola.  
  
"And now he and Buffy are. . . ?" He said, picking the football up, and trading it for a cola as well, flopping down in one of the back yards lawn chairs.  
  
"Complicated." Xander said, shrugging as he leaned against the wooden fence.  
  
"Sounds like the understatement of the year."  
  
"Yeah, that it does. Well, back when the Buffster was in her freshmen year of college, Spike came back, wanting to kill Buff. But, some military whackazoids calling themselves the Initiative captured him and put some sort of microchip in his noggin to prevent him from harming humans. I THINK that they wanted to see if they could train them to hunt their own kind, sort of anti-monster commandos or something." He held out a bag. "Chips?"  
  
"Sort of like in that third Return of the Living Dead flick? And, no thanks. Scholarship, gotta watch my diet."  
  
"Cool. Anyway, Spike escaped, and once he found out that he could still hurt MONSTERS, he started helping out. Have to admit, he came in real handy when Glory came to town."  
  
"WHO?"  
  
"The Almighty Glorificus, or something like that. A perpetually PMS'ed Goddess, who wanted to sacrifice Buffy's little sister in order to return home and destroy the universe. When her goons grabbed Spike by mistake, he wouldn't reveal where Dawn was, even under torture. Got to admit, he surprised us all, they tortured him to the point where even Giles was surprised he hadn't died a true death, but he didn't say anything." Xander shuddered at the memory. He'd never seen anything be that hurt and still function, much less act in an almost noble fashion.  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Well, Glory's minions grabbed Dawn, and were going to sacrifice her. Buffy and Spike went after her" Xander winced realizing bringing the Buffybot into the story would be just too confusing., "And Buffy, well, um. . .DIED trying to save Dawnie."  
  
"Bullshit!" Stifler shouted.  
  
"Nope, I can take you to Buffy's grave later in the day. It's really nice, and not too far from her mom's grave." Xander replied "Just don't let Spike hear you say that. Now that the chip's gone, he can kill people again."  
  
"What was that about a soul, last night?" Oz asked.  
  
"Vampires don't have souls, they're possessed dead bodies. The vampire demon patterns it's mind and personality off of the memories left chemically stored in the brain. According to Tara and An, he somehow went out and got his soul back."  
  
"Are they really-?"  
  
"Yep, Tara and Wills are real witches, magic and everything, and Anya used to be a Vengeance demon. Or, it looks like, is again. Hey, do me a favor, guys, and don't make any wishes around her. Vengeance demons are kind of like Genies, only the wishes tend to come out.well, icky."  
  
"And Buffy? She's not a ghost or something, is she?"  
  
"Nahh, Buffy's alive, Willow and Anya and me cast a spell and brought her back. Took nearly all of Summer Vacation to do it, though"  
  
"From the DEAD?" Stifler all but yelled. "After THREE MONTHS? Dude, that's SICK!"  
  
"Yeah, later we found out that because Buffy died trying to save the world, she got sent to Heaven. So, we, uh, kinda ripped her out of there, against her will. She was pretty shell-shocked, for a while, and none of us knew why. Well, no-one except Spike, she told him, right away."  
  
"Why'd she tell HIM?" Stifler asked.  
  
"Spike and Buffy.well, I hate to admit it, but they'd started getting. . . close, right before she died. Not spilling the beans after being tortured kind of impressed her. Spike always had a soft spot for Joyce and Dawn, even when he still wanted Buffy dead, and he kind of developed a obsessive little crush on her after they started working together." Xander looked VERY uncomfortable admitting that. Like he'd rather be enduring a root canal.  
  
"Then, we found out that the Evil Trio of Nerds had it in for Buffy, so we all started trying to stop them from committing bank robberies and stuff. Things got WAAAAY out of control after Warren snapped and killed his girlfriend, then tried to pin it on Buffy."  
  
"He what?" Oz asked.  
  
""Yeah, that was our reaction, too. The little freak twisted it all around in his own head so that to him, his actions were all Buffy's fault. After Buffy stopped his last scheme, he went ape-shit, and came here with a frikkin' gun."  
"You're serious?" Oz asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm serious. That was only a couple of weeks ago." Xander took a long, slow draw on his cola, then leaned back against the fence again. "Stupid me, I didn't see the gun. When Warren showed up, I just went and tackled him. The gun went off and the bullet went through Willow's window. Tara got hit." Xander looked down in shame. "The bullet missed hitting Tara's Vena Cava By an eighth of an inch. Broke her shoulder blade and collarbone, instead. Because of me, my best friend nearly lost the one person she loves, in the big-time, long haul kind of way."  
  
"Xander Harris, I never want to hear you blame yourself about me getting hurt again!" Tara said, standing in the back door. "If you hadn't knocked Warren down, he would have shot and killed Buffy!" She walked over and gingerly hugged the shame-faced Scooby. "Then, he probably would have shot you, and maybe even Willow and me, as well. You didn't risk my life, Xander, you saved it! And Willow and I will be eternally grateful you did!"  
  
"Thanks Tara, but I DID nearly get you killed."  
  
"Nonsense. Warren nearly got me killed. And because you tackled him long enough for Buffy to knock him out, He's in jail now, big-time. The only person you nearly got killed was YOU, you big dummy. Which is why Willow and I want you to be our best man at our hand-fasting ceremony, when we eventually get around to it."  
  
"You-you do?"  
  
"Yeah, you're our big brother, don't you know that? Although, when Buffy finally quits denying the way she feels about Spike, Willow might have to be acting as their best man, too."  
  
"Okay, I SO did not want to be reminded that the two of them were sleeping together this spring." Xander shuddered melodramatically.  
  
"Get used to it, Xan-man." Tara said, ruffling his dark hair. "Now that he's got a soul, she may have lost her last excuse to resist his charms."  
  
"GHAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Xander pantomimed gagging, as the others laughed.  
  
"Hey, Harris, later tonight, after the two blondes trim down the town's undead population, you guys show us this nightclub in town, what was it, the Bronze? Michelle couldn't quit jabbering away about it on the trip out here." Stifler asked.  
  
"Yeah, she said Willow claims that it's the best nightclub in town?" Oz added.  
  
"Well, except for Willie's, which is a demon bar, it's the ONLY club in town. Sounds good, and it's Karaoke Night, so it should be hopping! Let's ask the others, and if it's cool, it's a go!"  
  
TBC? Or is this a good enough end, guys? 


	4. chapter4: Kareoke at the Bronze

Title: One Time At The Magic Box, chapter 4  
  
Author: Brin Londo5  
  
Email: ogreblood@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: All Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series characters belong to Joss Wheadon, all hail the Joss-meister. Whoever owns American Pie and its characters, sure isn't me. No cash is being made, so there. Music is by Billy Idol, the Sex Pistols, the Bangles, Bonnie Tyler, and the Bloodhound gang. Any other music you imagine is being mangled by the patrons of the Bronze this night is owned by their prospective owners, and is probably being sung off-key, to boot.  
  
"Don't need a knife to violate my life, It's all so insane,  
  
Oh, but when the other man has none You don't need a gun; Yes, and Russian roulette's no fun, I don't need a gun, I just need someone. . .  
  
I don't need a gun"  
  
Spike roared into the microphone as the crowd at the Bronze cheered at his Billy Idol impersonation, before he slipped into the Sex Pistol's Anarchy In the UK. Then the punk fans in the crowd went entirely wild, while the Lillith Fair crowd got bored.  
  
"Hmph. I take it back, Buff, he's actually pretty good." Xander winced at the grin she gave him, then he shook his head and turned to where Chris Ostrieger and Stifler stood looking over the karaoke list. "Hey, what do you guys think?"  
  
"Yeah, he's good. Y'know, this place has a pretty varied tune list. Not bad." Jim said, an arm around Michelle.  
  
"Dude, you see what I see?" Stifler asked with a grin.  
  
"Yeah, I do. You up for it?" Chris counter-asked.  
  
"Do monkeys fling shit? Damn straight, Lacrosse Boy!"  
  
Spike gave a cocky smirk as he returned to the group, wedging himself between Buffy and Xander.  
  
"Bloody well like to see any o' you lot top that." The vampire grinned, tousling the construction worker's hair, and ignoring his outraged 'Hey!' "Sometime's, a sense o' showmanship's what it takes to keep minions in line."  
  
"Sure, Spike. Personally, I think you're a massive ham." Buffy said, sipping on her rum-and-coke. Before Spike could come up with a comeback, more music started up, and a familiar voice came from the stage.  
  
"I love it in your room at night  
  
You're the only one who gets through to me  
  
In the warm glow of the candlelight  
  
Oh, I wonder what you're gonna do to me?"  
  
Willow's voice rang out through the room, and Buffy, Xander, and Spike all stared at the stage where Willow and Tara stood, crooning into the microphone to the Bangle's.  
  
Tara- "I love it in your room all day When you're gone I like to try on all your clothes You won't regret it if you let me stay I'll teach you everything that a girl should know."  
  
Michelle and Jim hooted and cheered at the pair, and the audience joined in, roaring in approval. Willow blushed, but Tara caught her eyes until she joined back in again.  
  
As the song ended, Stifler and Oz climbed up onto the stage as a crunching guitar riff began jamming in the background, then both adopted kung-fu poses at each other, then Chris mouthed "You must DIE! I alone am best!" in a perfect bad chop-sockey dubbing imitation.  
  
"I hope ya flip some guy the bird  
He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve  
In front of the Beatles' tour bus  
  
A Bookmobile and a Mack truck  
  
Hauling hazardous biological waste  
The light turns red you have no brakes  
And "Hard Copy" gets it all on tape  
So you can see the look on your face!"  
  
The crowd cracked up as the pair began performing the Bloodhound Gang's 'I Hope You Die' with an insane relish. Stifler took the next verse, and then Jim jumped onto the stage, causing the crowd to roar with laughter as he sang the last verse, finishing with  
  
"And when you finally regain consciousness  
You're bound and gagged in a wedding dress  
And the prison guard looks the other way  
'Cause he's the guy ya flipped the bird the other day!"  
  
Spike spilled half his drink as he pumped his arm up and down, cheering the trio on. "Y'know, M'chelle, you and your lot ain't so bleeding bad, know? Takes a lot o' guts to get up there and expose yourself to public ridicule, and yet your mates are up there in front of a bunch o' complete strangers, yellin' their lungs out. In my old days, I'd've turned the lot o' ye, minions that ballsy are hard to find."  
  
"Thanks. . . I think." The redhead peered around the bar, then asked the bleached vampire "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"Around somewhere. Prolly went off to use the loo, or stake any minions that wandered in for a quick snack."  
  
Just then a piano rhythm began through the sound system, and Michelle tugged on Spike's arm, then turned him towards the stage.  
  
Buffy stood in front of the mike, head bowed, then looked up and over to where Spike and Michelle (and the others) stood looking at the Slayer in shock. Tara stood next to the stage, almost out of the light, as back-up.  
  
"(Turn around,) Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round, (Turn around,) Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears, (Turn around,) Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by, (Turnaround,) Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes, (Turnaround bright eyes,) Every now and then I fall apart, (Turnaround bright eyes,) Every now and then I fall apart,  
  
(Turnaround,) Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild (Turnaround,) Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms (Turnaround, ) Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry (Turnaround, ) Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes  
  
(Turnaround bright eyes,) Every now and then I fall apart (Turnaround bright eyes,) Every now and then I fall apart And I need you now, tonight, And I need you more than ever,"  
  
Spike walked like one of Drusilla's mind-tipped victims to the stage, vaulted up, and grabbed the other microphone, as Buffy sang, "And if you'll only hold me tight We'll be holding on forever And we'll only be making it right Cause we'll never be wrong"  
  
And Spike chimed in, "Together we can take it to the end of the line, Your love is like a shadow on me all the time!" For a brief second, the blond vampire slipped into 'game-face', then struggled back into his human-seeming guise. "I don't know what to do, and I'm always in the dark, We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks!  
  
I really need you tonight! Forever's gonna start tonight, Forever's gonna start tonight!  
  
Once upon a time I was falling in love, But now I'm only falling apart, There's nothing I can do; A total eclipse of the heart;  
  
Once upon a time there was light in my life, But now there's only love in the dark;  
  
Nothing I can say,  
  
A total eclipse of the heart"  
  
The instrumental solo surged through the speakers, and Spike and Buffy both looked at each other with such visible longing and regret that damn near everyone in the audience felt the tension between the two, and even Xander was shook by it. He turned to the bar to order another re-fill on his drink, to cover up his instinctive 'this is NOT what I wanted to see!' reaction.  
  
More voices in the audience chimed in with the fill-in chorus- "Turn around, bright eyes, turn around, bright eyes' and Jim realized that Michelle, Willow, and Anya, had joined Tara in the back-up chorus on the floor.  
  
Buffy-" (Turnaround,)  
  
Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be;"  
  
She sang, gingerly touching one side of Spike's face, as he tried to turn away, "(Turnaround, ) But every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am"  
  
Spike-"(Turnaround, ) Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you, (Turnaround,) Every now and then I know there's nothing any better, there's nothing that I just wouldn't do, (Turnaround bright eyes,) Every now and then I fall apart"  
  
Buffy-"(Turnaround bright eyes,) Every now and then I fall apart"  
  
Both- "And I need you now tonight And I need you more than ever, And if you'll only hold me tight Well be holding on forever, And we'll only be making it right Cause we'll never be wrong, together We can take it to the end of the line, Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time, I don't know what to do, I'm always in the DARK, We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks! I really need you tonight! Forever's gonna start tonight! Forever's gonna start tonight!"  
  
Tara and the others sang the final chorus, as the pair on the stage drew closer to each other. "Once upon a time I was falling in love, But now I'm only falling apart Nothing I can do, A total eclipse of the heart.  
  
Once upon a time there was light in my life, But now there's only love in the dark; Nothing I can say, A total eclipse of the heart"  
  
The entire crowd at the Bronze stood and cheered at the pair, roaring as the blond vampire pulled Buffy close and into a kiss. The petite Slayer tried to push away briefly, then melted into the kiss, much to Xander's shock. Then, Anya slid up to Xander, and it was like old times for a second, as she curled into his side.  
  
"Mmm, maybe this wasn't so bad after all," Xander thought, pulling his Ex into a hug.  
  
End. 


End file.
